Welcome to the first step of the Shut Up. Ride. Repeat!™ training regimen. As mentioned in the introductory post, the primary steps can be summarized by:
- Shut Up.
So, today we’ll just be discussing “Shut Up.” This could be be interpreted in many ways and, just for the record, I probably mean it in all of those ways. Let’s do a little brainstorming, or free association as the hipsters might call it. Let’s just list some things that come to mind when we say “Shut Up.”
- Shut Your Pie Hole!
- Stop Making Excuses!
- Stop Whining!
- Harden The F___ Up!
- Can You Please Talk About Something Other Than Bikes or Bike Riding?! (this will often come from someone whom you might refer to as a “significant other”)
Let’s address each of these individually.
Shut Your Pie Hole!
What do we mean when we say this? Well, we mean shut your mouth of course but that’s obvious. However, we must occasionally open our mouths to consume fuel for riding (often referred to as food) and to stay hydrated (often referred to as beer). So we don’t literally mean never open your mouth. That would kill you, and then we’d all miss your trollsome interweb comments. So what we really mean is Stop Talking. You’ll learn more when you stop talking and listen for a change. Your significant other has told you this, like ten thousand times, but you’re always too busy talking to have heard it. Shut Up!!
Stop Making Excuses! (Stop Whining!)
Okay, we’re really getting to the heart of the matter here, aren’t we? If you’re an apt pupil you might argue that Stop Making Excuses! and Stop Whining! are pretty synonymous in the common lexicon. And you would be correct in my opinion. Therefore, we’ll address them both in this section.
Anyone reading about a training regimen—that would be you, my friend— should be aware that training regimens exist in a world where people need help keeping to such a regimen. Why? Because life gets in the way. It really does. I understand. I have a life. Okay, well, that might be an exaggeration. But I know people who have lives. And I listen to them when I’m not too busy talking.
What they say is that life gets in the way. They’re not wrong. They’re just, you know, wrong. The list of excuses is long: spouse, work, kids, school, pets, emergencies, etc. However, allow me to differentiate between reasons and excuses. There are lots of reasons why we can’t ride on any given day and, frankly many of them are pretty darn good reasons. But the difference between reasons and excuses is that reasons don’t excuse us from doing something we’ve committed to doing.
In other words, life only gets in the way if you let it. I can’t give you discipline. I can only tell you what to do. Shut Up. Ride. Repeat!™
Harden The F___ Up! (HTFU)
No, you! If you participate in many bike forums, you may be familiar with the abbreviation HTFU. This is what the insensitive riders will tell you. They don’t have all of the same responsibilities as you, and therefore they don’t understand the reasons that you put forth for not being able to ride. But I understand. I’m here for you, brothers and sisters. So let’s take their insensitivity, or perhaps it’s even anger (as to what they’re angry at, you might have to consult a different blog), and let’s focus that energy into discipline. Ignore the naysayers. They don’t understand you like I do. But you still have to ride every f___ing day, so harden the f___ up!!
Can You Talk About Something Other Than Bikes or Riding?
No. Get over it. Note: There is absolutely nothing wrong with this socially insensitive approach if you don’t mind being alone (forever).
For the rest of us, yes, Shut Up does mean that we occasionally have to talk about something other than bikes and bike riding. Or better yet, just stop talking and listen for a change. You’ll learn more when your lips aren’t moving. Shut up.